Living as I do in the southwest quadrant of my four-cornered city, my daily commute takes me north on Crowchild Trail and then merges onto Bow Trail eastbound into downtown. I am not alone on this route and typically find myself bumper-to-bumper with countless other commuters headed downtown for their daily toil. 

Every morning, without fail, some of my fellow citizens ignore not only the clearly marked road signs, but they ignore the very foundation of a rules-based democracy and, with it, the delicate balance of western civilization, nay, humanity. Flagrantly breaching the social contract underpinning how we live, they drive to the very northerly end of the faster middle lane only to merge, last minute, plunging into the offramp. Occasionally, they’ll wave with all the sincerity of a gesturing tennis player feigning apology for winning a point by having their ball trickle off the net cord into the opponent’s court. Or, not feigning at all and just cutting in, ahead of me and the majority of my fellow law-abiding, rule-following, peer-respecting travellers who know that the difference between the survival of democratic institutions and complete anarchy hangs in the balance right there, in that moment.

Surely, they see the long cue of cars patiently waiting their turn to exit from one slow-moving major artery to another in the duly appointed and well-marked exit lane. Surely, they do this drive every day, like I do. And while, surely, they rationalize that what they are doing isn’t illegal in the strictest sense, they cling to the entitled belief that the rules — if not the laws — do not apply to them.

One recent morning, my annoyance escalated when, upon being abruptly cut off by one such patriot, causing me to brake suddenly and skid slightly on the slick spring slush that is Calgary in March, several seconds after wedging his way in, flicked his signal indicator, as though retroactively indicating his intent to merge and, with it, expunging his record, and absolving himself of being a jerk. I’ve not seen a more literal demonstration of virtue signalling since Leonardo DiCaprio fretted about climate change during a standard mid-winter chinook, the meteorological phenomenon that’s been happening in these parts since, well, the beginning of time.

Wait. That’s actually not true. I very recently endured, firsthand, an exhibit of hypocrisy and moral posturing that would make even Leo blush. And it brings me to the point of this dispatch, the first rant of its kind in the Humanis-era and probably since I wrote about the U of C not providing feedback way back in 2018 (still one of the most widely read blog posts of them all). 

This isn’t about April Fools; it’s about regular ones. More specifically, my former landlord. Settle in. You can’t make this stuff up. 

First, a bit of context. With the emergence of ESG scorecarding – the process of evaluating a company’s performance in terms of environmental, social, and governance factors – we are seeing more and more organizations espousing in fancy ESG Reports, as much marketing brochures as they are compliance documents, all the laudable things they are doing, veritable Mother Theresas saving Mother Earth. Having a high ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) score is important for companies for several reasons, not least of which is it reflects their commitment and performance in key areas that are increasingly valued by investors, consumers, and regulatory bodies.